Called Out In Kansas
Building the Kingdom of God in Larned, KS
Transitions…
Posted on 07. Oct, 2010 by Mark in Seasons
Well, I got the CME’s done, and am still licensed to practice medicine. Now I am trying to dig myself out from the avalanche that fell while I wasn’t paying attention! Charts, messages, paperwork, financial management issues, the list goes on.
“Lord, I don’t have time to get these things done, and I am having trouble finding time to spend with you, studying your word.”
That was my mindset until several days ago, while listening to a Hillsong United song, “Savior, King”. Awesome powerful song, if you want to listen to it.
The pertinent part is in the first verse, and says the following:
“And let the poor, stand and confess, that my portion is Him, and I’m more than blessed”.
I have listened to this song many times in the last few weeks. In fact, if you haven’t heard Hillsong United’s “The I Heart Revolution” you should check it out. Very powerful music, and the Lord has done much in my heart lately through this music. Anyway, I’ve heard this song, and taken note of the above lyrics, but that night it just hit me like a ton of bricks. The busy-ness in my life will always be there, and will always prevent me from seeking Him, and His kingdom. Before I explain I want to step back a bit.
After leaving the church I went through a long period of time where I was not allowed to study the bible. My problem was that I always approached it intellectually, trying to figure things out. God had to take me through a period of cleansing, so that I could approach His word from a standpoint of weakness, so that He could reveal truth to me. Once I did begin to feel the stirring to read, I often times found myself busy doing the things required to accomplish the works I felt (and still feel) He had instructed me to do (starting two kingdom-oriented business). At that time, not studying was permitted by the Holy Spirit, and He continued to lead me further day by day into Christ. Lately, for the past few months, I’ve had an understanding that He is calling me into even greater commitment, and understanding that, to complete the season He has me in now will take greater dedication and greater sacrifice than the previous season. So, having understood that for several months, the lyrics above finally cemented what He had been working in my heart, and I finally understood.
You see, I’ve been busy doing His work, doing what He has instructed me to do. But this one thing I’ve learned: doing things for God, even things that He’s instructed us to do, is no excuse to not SEEK Him. Hearing those words “My portion is Him” made me realize that all the trappings of the works He’s had me do are meaningless if I am not pursuing Christ actively. Those works will lose their power if I don’t keep them His, and keep them in their place. The work can never take the place of the one who called us to the work.
I now understand that I must seek Christ first and foremost. I MUST KNOW Christ. He is my portion. He is my inheritance. He is my reward and my prize. He is all that I ever wanted, and all that I’ll ever need. I have vocalized an understanding of the central importance of Christ in the past, but now am beginning to really understand just how central He is. Christ is everything!
The next step and latest step in the process has been reading Philippians 3. Philippians 3:7-11 especially. Paul talks about how all things are rubbish compared to the value of knowing Christ, and I meditate on that frequently now. Verse 8 says “and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ”. To me this means that if I am not counting all things as rubbish, I will not gain Christ. Even my beloved coffee must be considered rubbish, as I fear it holds an unhealthy place in my life (I imagine I will one day drink again, but for now I feel I am to give it up).
So, this is where I am….transitioning. The day where this all came to a head was a difficult day. I was stirred by the Holy Spirit to approach my life differently, but was still controlled by the daily demands, and the two were not co-existing well. Once I set down and talked things out with my wife, the Spirit took the greater prominence, and the pressure eased. I am still journeying in this manner, but the understanding gained is crucial as I now begin walking it out.
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